bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
