so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just high enough for therapy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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