I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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