He asked to "fluff my boner.."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
