i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
