dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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