I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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