My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
