if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
