Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
