Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
