I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I forget how to act sober
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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