worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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