We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
where are my pants?
in the oven.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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