last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
