I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
