I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
