Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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