I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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