that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
