omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
