Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
