sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
