twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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