I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
