i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
