I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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