How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
