just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I AM VODKA MAN
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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