remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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