You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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