why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
