I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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