listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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