So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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