Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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