literally had 100 drinks last night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
