i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
