I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
