i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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