Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
