Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
