she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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