its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
