What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
