So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
