Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will be naked everywhere
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
