I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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