if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
