I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We talked him into tasing himself.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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