YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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