guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he wants to bone in the snuggie
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
