Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
